wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
