NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
