it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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