I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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