Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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