So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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