I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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