i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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