Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
