well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
