Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
