i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
