Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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