he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
