i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
