when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
