I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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