all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
