if you like me you must not know who I am
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
