I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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