normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize