Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
