Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We were destined to go to rehab together
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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