roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
