i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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