Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
