Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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