No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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