OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
