Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
