Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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