Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Dick very happy bro
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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