Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
