i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
