Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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