shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
