yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
