Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
