So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
