Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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