butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
