he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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