I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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