I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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