The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Holy shit dude........stairs
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You don't make any sense
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