Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
