the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it hurts more in the daytime
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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