she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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