Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
