i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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