I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
