she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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