i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
