I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
