I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize