But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
