Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
