I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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