sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize