I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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