So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
