Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
be right there i have to get my cape
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
