You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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