she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize